past is prologue

How terrible am I? Second time in 345ish days I've been told this on the phone by people who lived with me (for a few hours a week anyway) "It has not just been recently, I've felt this way for a long time, you were like this before, even before (fill in blank with summerish things like fellowships and rings) I can't live like this. I was talking to soandso who says you need to do thisandthat... You should have known without me telling you. You need to get your life together. What will the neighbors think?"

So. Sans the cheese knife toss but still about animals and their dung. Perhaps I'm growing. How terrible am I? Feeling very very so.