Sunday, September 30, 2007

Friends of "Toxic Ross"

Sundays have been the worst. But I must make a shout out to all of those people who have quite literally "been there". For always letting me cry, and for listening, reassuring, distracting, laughing, and really being there for me, I must say thank you.

Big Daddy and Marilyn Monroe for Irish Bars, City Walks, Opera.
The Coaches for new nicknames, book fairs, and fair sunrises.
Cotton for being mad for me, and grading with tea, and listening to me AGAIN...
Red for staying over the night he left, and rationale advice on the phone.
The Prince and the Princess for scrabble , pizza, phone calls
Drinking bud-ski for falling over, falling down, and falling up (almost).
N. Lion for holding my hand for an entire pint of Guinness and for winning at Trivia.
Econtrario for playlists and Casablanca texts.
Thirty-one flavors for making the iPhone ring, Charlie Brown comics, the marriage horserace.
Otterbutt for advice, proofreading, and writing a novel for me to read. And her house.
Maestra for making me know I'm strong enough. Her sister for the same.
Mom one and Mom two in Md, for brownies, turkey sandwiches, and hugs.
Dr. Tweed Jacket for being sound and interested.
Dr. dr for my xanax.
L.B. and T.F. for being in the rooms next door. And for making me stop reading "The Bell Jar"
The three new hermit crabs in room 218 (I hope we find #4 Herman before he smells)
Comcast for my favorite hobby, watching movies and The Ravens... except they have turned the ball over twice today already.

Thursday, September 13, 2007


See that small part of the river at the bottom of the picture.
Right before it falls, over the falls
But expecting, wanting, following.
now crashed on the rocks below.

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Three weeks

Um, will someone please tell her he's gone.

Movies I was too dumb to avoid in the last three weeks.

The Prisoner of Second Avenue (highly recommend this one Chuck)
Ordinary People (highly recommend this one Truce)

The Awful Truth (Cary Grant...What's that divorce?)

Legends of the Fall (I will wait for you as long as it takes, and then marry your brother)
Casablanca (are my eyes really brown?)
Number 23
Sleepless in Seattle
You've got mail
Singles (I couldn't make it past the miscarriage part)
Clueless (in GR)
Superman Returns (ummm... the title alone!)
X-men United
The object of my affection (Jennifer Aniston falls for a gay guy...who doesn't kill himself or leave her)
Picture Perfect (Jennifer Aniston pays a guy to fake their relationship to get a promotion)

Mr and Mrs Smith (liars)

Brokeback Mountain (why can't i find a way to quit you)

I probably shouldn't admit many more, because I was supposed to be at work!

Destination therapy is my route this week. Plus, I get to use the word axiom a lot.
I wonder if destination break-ups are as popular as destination weddings.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Thanks Otterbutt

Otterbutt and fam...
Thanks so much for the wonderful hospitality. And the wonderful food. I can't think of another place in the world where I would have felt as comforted and supported. The late night chats and the fancy cab were really special. In case anyone ever has a need for a recently or soon to be divorced weekend menu.... I highly recommend.

Pasta vongole w/ spring salad and fresh toms.
Cheddar, apple, and apricot dessert.
Fruit crepes with Alton Brown Bacon.
Broccoli cheddar soup with rustic bread.
Mustard crusted pork chops with grilled peaches.
Brunch by Reeds Lake.

Sunday, September 02, 2007


At the Detroit airport I almost bought a ticket to the city by the river. Just to see him. To sit on the porch until they come home. To face them all, to let him know I'm still interested. But then, I just put one foot in front of the other, got the rental car. Where he is, safe, away, protected. I realize on the 2 hour drive from Detroit, that I have been cut out of his life, like a tumor. I reviewed my behavior. Even though I know it can't really be all my fault, but my behavior could have been better. The ipod keeps playing. I'm torn. Like a line is drawn down the center of my body. Left side, protect yourself. Right side, forgive him.

There was once a time when I was spontaneous enough to have gotten on the plane to the quad cities. There was also once a time when I would just fuck his best friend and be done with it.

It has been two weeks. Feels like one long day.