Damn! I knew when I first saw blood. I tried to talk myself out of it, but I knew that 10 years ago this week the same smear appeared. The same tears. I'm embarrassed. I know exactly what is to come, the Oh I'm so sorry's, the sympathetic smiles, the hugs with pats on the back, the pain. The disappointment from grandma's and in-laws and the of courses from friends who think I live poisonedly. I've missed an entire day of seeing my family because we spent 9 hours in the hospital. Waiting for a shot. One shot.
The cool desert air calmed me. The shadow of the mountains feels safe. Somehow the familiarity of disappointment, the emptiness, fits like an old shoe. I thought I lost those shoes. Recycled wedding present perhaps?
1 comment:
I wish there was more to say. Something to do. I wish there were no shoes like this, beautiful metaphor aside.
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