Eat Bertha's Mussels

They even have bumper stickers for this cause, and so with a guest in town from New York, roomie and I took our usual tour of the Baltimore town with an evening in fells point where sleepless in Seattle and Homicide Life on the Streets where filmed), and the mussels were delicious! They also had a nice grilled veg platter that followed the escargot course. Because I know 'nuff I didn't wear my ozzy shorts and University of Utah t shirt that I wore to the Dulaney football game, I actually wore a real girl outfit with heals. Yes, we all know the cobble stones in Fells Point are not the best place to wear shoes like this... But I was very careful. I even had a plan squared away with Erik and Mike that if I did fall in the street they could laugh for a minute, but then they had to pick me up.

I successfully sobered up after my 2.5 glasses to walk along the cobblestones after leaving the boys to "hook up" with the girlies. I didn't fall at all. But I went to Stacey's to watch a showing of Big Daddy on the big screen projector in their beautiful back yard. Then of course, in pure Paigeness, I promptly fell off the porch. Chair and all ass over tea kettle, smashing a bush, breaking the chair, and wishing I wasn't so sober to remember the whole thing.

Moral of this story: Mussels are not vegan, and I definitely have a new favorite wine. I actually hugged the 1/2 bottle(the most action in months and it was only $20) Fess Parker Chardonnay from Santa Barbara . It was so delicious I feel as if I must tell KJ about the affair and I will be ok if he breaks up with me and I can only commit to the Parker fellow when I can afford it.

Eat Bertha's Mussels
(John Roberts)

(G) F#
Eat Bertha's mussels, they're the best there is by far
You can eat them in the dining room, you can eat them in the bar
So when you're ashore in Baltimore and you fancy a bite to eat
Just follow your nose to Bertha's, you'll be in for a rare
old treat

Now a sailor came to Bertha's with a problem most severe
His manly pride had atrophied from a voyage of forty years
A couple of plates of mussels, now he sings in a different key
His jib boom's set right, he'll be in there tonight, and he'll
never go back to sea.

CHORUS
Now a lady came to Bertha's, who wanted a daughter or a son
The doctors had said with a shake of the head that she couldn't
have either one
So she ate a plate of mussels and went home to her husband dear
She tuned up his cryth, and I'll tell you the truth, she had
triplets the very same year.
CHORUS
They will cure your diarrhea, cure your constipation, too.
Just swallow a box for the chicken pox, the measles or the flu.
Now, if you fancy a healthy life, get your daily doses straight
A plate a day of Bertha's mussels, and you'll live 'til you're 98.
CHORUS
By John Roberts about Bertha's Mussels on Fells Point in
Baltimore.