At the Detroit airport I almost bought a ticket to the city by the river. Just to see him. To sit on the porch until they come home. To face them all, to let him know I'm still interested. But then, I just put one foot in front of the other, got the rental car. Where he is, safe, away, protected. I realize on the 2 hour drive from Detroit, that I have been cut out of his life, like a tumor. I reviewed my behavior. Even though I know it can't really be all my fault, but my behavior could have been better. The ipod keeps playing. I'm torn. Like a line is drawn down the center of my body. Left side, protect yourself. Right side, forgive him.
There was once a time when I was spontaneous enough to have gotten on the plane to the quad cities. There was also once a time when I would just fuck his best friend and be done with it.
It has been two weeks. Feels like one long day.
1 comment:
Thank you for coming all this way. We were made happy by your visit even if we couldn't quite make you happy. But we distracted you for a bit.
I may never forgive him for making you so sad.
I'm still crying even though you left almost two hours ago. I miss you. And I don't want you to be sad any more.
Post a Comment